October 2004 BOTM
			October.  I don't know what an ober is and why we'd need eight of them in 31 days, much less why we'd name a month after the process but there it is.  October.  Halloween.  The most contested holiday of the year.  The greatest opportunity for creativity, mischief, and strange costumes to surprise and frighten your friends.  Oh, and candy.  Lots of candy.  There is also the October Bitch of the Month, which we shall celebrate and taunt with great vigor and glee. What can we say about the Bitch this month...well, unlike last year this bitch is just one.  There aren't two bitches, although the competition was quite fierce.  Strangely though, the bitch this month is blonde.  Just like both bitches from last October.  Most curious.  Of course, this month's bitch, when compared with the bitches from last year, would have had the shortest hair if Brendan hadn't cut his dreads off.  Oh well. Incidentally, this Bitch is a first-time winner. The committee suspects that the Bitch would have won sooner, but the Bitch didn't really show up much last year. The bitch is female and surprisingly NOT from Pennsylvania.  In fact, the BOTM committee has a pretty darn good idea where the bitch comes from since, though sheer serendipity and the vaguaries of the admissions office, the bitch and half of the BOTM committee happened to be in the same school at the same time but for more-than-slightly different reasons last year. The bitch happens to be a foilist.  This is not unusual though, since many former bitches and indeed the first bitch were all foilists.  At some point a study will have to be done on the number of foilists who have ever won the hallowed (not the Halloweened) award. This said, we shall now list other qualities as reported to the BOTM committee: 1.  The bitch is also known as the Cuddle Queen, whatever that means.  The Bitch took a dare to ask the coach to create cuddle drills and was clearly flabbergasted by the coach's reply.  2.  Balestra Queen.  Apparently the bitch took to balestras like a duck to water.  We have no idea what that means, it's just a really funny mental image.  At some point the BOTM committee will freeze the drainage pond so the bitch - and any other brave souls - can balestra on the water and avoid the ducks.  Though people may throw things at them so they will have TO duck. 3.  Foilist.  Need we say more? 4.  Exhibits Directorial tendencies.  This is clearly a dangerous thing, as directors are noted for going blind, deaf, dumb and stupid (source:  Study conducted by Fencers Who Are Not Directors, 1999). 5.  Has never put her jacket and mask on backwards. 6.  There is NOOOOOOO #6. 7.  Has matching initials. 8.  Did we mention foilist? It is with great pomp and frightening amounts of circumstance that the BOTM committee awards the Coveted Prize to... CANDICE CARR! Yes, Candice has been noted for all the things we noted above, most notably her lack of creativity in the art of blade origami which has earned her a special place in the heart of the Armory Mistress (and the guy what fixes everything).  Candice is a local girl who seemed rather surprised to encounter half the BOTM committee after passing them in the hallowed yellow-and-brown halls of OMHS.  And if you don't know what that stands for, too bad. The so-called Cuddle Queen has not been observed actually cuddling, which casts significant doubt on her title but still sounds good with her name:  Candice "Cuddle Queen" Carr. We all hope and pray that she's not just biding her time, getting everyone comfortable before she lashes out with a devastating array of cuddle attacks, sharp sticks, and trained attack squirrels named Foamy. Congratulations, Candice! You are This Month's Bitch! The BOTM award is brought to you more or less monthly by the BOTM committee, who consists of an anonymous number of people who are always looking to expand the size of the committee and thusly make things funnier.  Or at least not so freakin' bizarre all the time.  Report your team-mates before they report you!!