Sean "Prancer" Abbott: Sabrist first, foilist second and epeeist thirdly. Sean has had a lot of nicknames in his tenure at Goucher. I don't know that I can repeat all of them without violating the "no profanity" rule. Sean is from Alabama, which doesn't explain any of his behavior or odd habit of doing pushups when he gets annoyed about something. It's fun to annoy Sean, but he doesn't ALWAYS do pushups when irritated. This will have to be studied some more.
Peter Bagnell: Foilist, mainly. He also does some saber, and even less epee. Also known as the Invisible Man, Sith Lord, and Amigo Boy, Peter has the honor of being a Bitch of the Month, though it was more for the Amigo he drove than any particularly amusing thing he did. Although chasing Mother across the campus lawns in the Amigo was pretty damn funny. Peter has also not been showing up lately because of some "wreck" thing that screwed up his car and has joined Adam in playing with guns. Peter has one of the few original Goucher Fencing Jackets ever created. I don't know who has the others.
Rebecca "Mother" Ball: Foilist. That's it. Just foil. So named "Mother" for her maternal nature (ha ha) and the fact that she was the club "becky" before Junior showed up. Mother is the other founding member of the Cripple Club and has a curious habit of flashing people whenever Sean is not around. She waits until he's not around and certain other unknown conditions are filled before flashing anyone not paying attention. Mother and Jess are the only people who have seen Atlanta where Rudi lived and the old Atlanta Fencing Club, where luckily no one told them bad things about me. Becky is from Virginia somewhere. She also bore the mantle of "Writer of Bitch-of-the-Month" nearly since its inception. Also noted for her ability to put up with irritating people. Mostly.
Jessica Bowers: If you want to be chased around campus, call her Jessica. She started out as an epeeist, but was corrupted to saber shortly thereafter. I don't know how much foil she's fenced. Jess has been the club ambassador to the Land of Eng, where she was for a year kicking some brit booty. There was some incident involving apple cider and her ankle that we don't talk about, just like the cookie baking fundraiser that we don't discuss. Jess also in secretly in love with the Gnome, although we don't widely publicize that fact. She is Another Goucher Fencing Girl from PA.
Rachael Bradley: Sabrist. Dubbed "Messiah" by Mother at some point, for some unknown reason. The only left-handed sabrist in club memory who didn't have a golfball-sized hole in her ear and who can still beat up on Rudi. This keeps him honest and humble, mostly. Sean likes having Rachael around because she's the only person who can get away with cutting on Rudi. Rachael is cool. Rachael is great. Rachael can make really good chocolate chip cookies, and is not from Pennsylvania.
Frogboy: He had green hair. He was tall and skinny and fenced epee. What better nickname for someone with those characteristics than FROGBOY? He dropped out and went hopping away somewhere else where he supposedly still fences epee.
Paul
Jordan:
Epeeist. For some reason Sean named Paul
"bob." Paul does not look like a Bob. He does not ACT like a Bob,
and we all thank our respective deities that he does not act like Bill Murray
in "What About Bob?" Paul was the club treasurer but left us to go
to Germany, the
Adam King: Epeeist. You can't miss Adam, he is VERY TALL. Noted for property damage and the ungodly 3 meter lunge. When he's in shape, which he hasn't been lately because of some "work" thing and playing with guns. Oh yeah, Adam wasn't ever a Goucher student but who cares? He is also noted for scaring the hell out of Kate Kmiec (see below) as he is the TALLEST epeeist I've ever seen. Anywhere. Ever.
Kate Kmiec: Epeeist. Quite possibly the shortest person ever to pick up an epee and fence with it. Quite possibly also the third most irritating person to ever take part in Goucher fencing. She's from Florida, apparently a very rural section. Theorized to be in law school somewhere.
Joseph "Tinkerbell" Ladow: Claimed to be a foilist. Also made the DIRE error of demanding to be referred to as "Lord Shadow." This little mistake earned him the spot of "top target" for the nickname council, who came up with such gems as "Darkwing Dork," "Lord Loser," and the one that stuck, "Tink-erbell." It was originally Tink, because that's the noise the blade made when you hit him, but it was expanded to Tinkerbell because we felt he really deserved it for desecrating Metallica with that absurd satanic sacrifice play thing he did. Blames Rudi for everything.
Jennifer "Scooter" Reams: Foilist. Like Mother, I don't think I have ever seen Scooter pick up another weapon at all. Ever. I think she is from Maryland somewhere, as she and Peter know each other somehow outside of fencing. Like there's such a thing. HAHAHA. Scooter was one of the few fencers to have undergone the Duct Tape training routine and survive to brag about it. But she doesn't brag about it. I don't recall why she's named Scooter. Ask her.
Jennifer Toth: Sabrist. The only person who managed to strike blade-sparks in the course of the parry-riposte drill. She's now in the Air Force somewhere and is ALSO from Pennsylvania. What is up with all these girls from PA?? Well, women? Ladies? Whatever you want to call them, we seem to have a bunch.
Rudi Waldschuetz: Everythingist, though I've never taken an epee lesson in my life. Erstwhile Coach of the club, and one of the two founding members of the Cripple Club, wherein all members have some manner of knee trouble. Hairiest member of the club, who has no tolerance for machines who try to zap the hell out of him. Likes to play with all manner of sharp things. Writing things about himself in the third person, like Bob Dole, though he is not Bob Dole. Keeper of the Club Histories, though I don't take attendance like Junior does, but I do know some pretty good stories about almost everyone who's ever taken a lesson from me. Or whom I've taken lessons from. Only person who has gotten Bitch of the Month AND Bitch of the Year awards, though I am mightily disappointed I didn't get Bitch of the Millenium. I am from Georgia, but only have a southern accent when tired or irritated. I also am responsible for most of the nicknames, for better or for worse. No one nicknames themselves. Club Policy.
Becky "Junior" Wilson: Sabrist. Club Presidenta emeritus. Her list of achievements have grown from scoring a 9.8 on her dive into a snow bank, being voted "Great Stride" by the Goucher Men's Basketball team, to lunging in high-heel boots, taking up directing, and most notably racking up significant frequent-driver miles attending tournaments across Maryland.
Zippy the Wonder...Courtesan. Quite possibly the second-shortest person to ever pick up an epee and fence. Quite possibly also the fourth most irritating person to ever take part in Goucher fencing. I have no idea where she went after graduating.
Rudi "Coach" Waldschuetz: He of Many Titles, including: Coach-by-Remote, sneaky rat bastard, Vocal Half of the BOTM committee, Winner of BOTM and BOTY awards for months and years previous. While he's never had a formal epee lesson, he's lifted several epees in anger and then put them back down again. Resident Armorer, Resident Fixer-of-All-Things, Re-Bender of Blades, and a few other things too. Sabrist, Foilist, Coach. He's been fencing since before some of the current members were walking. That makes him feel old.
Debbie "The Educator" Apple: Foilist who is still from Pennsylvania , despite all efforts to the contrary. Winner of the BOTM award, though it should be noted that the Red Sweatpants of Deeee-struction have not been seen since. Club President, Webmistress - though not related to Spiderman or his amazing friends - and Practice Leader (when the Remote Coach isn't around). Debbie has recently expanded her horizons into Epee. She disavows all claims that she's the silent half of the BOTM committee.
Whitney "Always Ready" Chapman: Whitney is a sabrist and a lifetime member of the Cripple Club. She has recently agreed to be our club armorer. Whitney likes to direct and boss around the other unruly sabrists while the practice leader isn't looking. She has lots of spiff clothes that appear to be from colonial America, but she's not allowed to fence in them (we assume) so we don't get to see them very often.
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