October 2003 BOTM
October. A Month of great significance in many things, like midterms and scary movies and creepy-crawly things staggering around moaning. But enough about College Students on Sunday mornings, we have something much cooler.
Firstly, let us detail exactly how tradition is being broken. You see, the BOTM committee had many promising candidates for October and it would take up way too much space to relay the gory details. It'd probably also get us arrested, but them's the chances you take for greatness. Or maybe that was insanity, I can never remember.
Ahem. So, we had all these people to choose from. Well, maybe not all THAT many. I mean, there weren't too terribly many people at fencing throughout the month of October, and it gets old to give the BOTM award to people who have gotten it already...Red Sweatpants Return!!
We had one serious candidate, but the BOTM committee felt that the award would be compromised by the exposing of the details surrounding the grant, so we decided not to even mention that Paul almost made it this month. And then there was the whole Return of the Alumni thing, but they got scared away. Of course, we could have actually LISTENED to the people who posted nominations, but Kelly never shows up anymore, the guy who got hit on the head forgot about it, Sean can't win anymore (he's in nomination for Club Twit), and Kelly's car can't get the same treatment that damnable electric box did...stupid electric shocking.
We almost nominated Kaotic, but then she had to go and show up mostly healed, and that took all the fun out of renaming her Gimpy. Note: Avoid giving this girl caffeine unless you want to see her twitch and vibrate through solid objects. Well, I don't know about the vibrating through solid objects part but she does certainly twitch a lot.
This left us with two candidates. These candidates were SO evenly matched that the BOTM selection committee waited patiently until the LAST PRACTICE OF THE MONTH before we made our selection. And we did, too...because they both won. That's right, there are CO-Bitches this month. You may cheer now.
Stop cheering. Yes, you. YOU! You know who you are, stop that right away. Everyone's staring at you.
Let us tell you a little about these most honored members of the club. Firstly, when the selection was made they matched. It was pretty strange, because they both have blonde hair and wore blue shirts. Not the same blue shirt, because that would have been both confusing and destructive to the poor shirt, having two people in it at the same time. Remember, shirts have feelings too.
One is a foilist, the other is an epeeist because he disdains the notion of Right of Way. But that's okay, most epee people do. Either that or they aren't smart enough to get it, but we of the BOTM committee aren't sure which one he falls into. He has admitted to getting hit in the head a lot when he was younger...
Right. The other is a dancer, which doesn't narrow it down much because we have a few dancers in the club. She's a foilist, which does thin the field somewhat, because we really only have two dancer girl foilists...but the kicker is her braid. Oh, and the lack of red sweatpants. Which isn't to say that she doesn't wear sweatpants, just that she'd look like Supergirl if she wore red sweatpants. Or at least...oh, never mind.
Moving on to more descriptive descriptions, our male nominee was thought to have left Goucher and moved to Bolivia to take up Carrot Farming; our female nominee has been nicknamed 'La Fey' for her remarkable resemblance to the Fey Folk as portrayed in the Lord of the Rings...which I know has little to do with La Fey, especially since it was originally applied to MORGANA La Fey, that evil nasty sister or stepsister of King Arthur. Again, we do not wish to draw ANY connection between the nominee and the evil nasty person. Or the sweatpants.
Together, they are the Wonder Twins of fencing...except without the buckets of water and purple tigers. They are the Dynamic Duo of Destruction, except without too much breakage. They are the Merciful and the Merciless, saving egos and heads from pummeling when their owners are too dense to wear masks when having things swung at them as well as destroying the damnable demander of obedience to the notion of linear chronology with the Braid of Annihilation!
They are....
Cora
Provins and Brendan Reed!
These two have proven themselves worthy of carrying the Mantle of Co-Bitches of the Month until everyone else gets tired of hassling them or someone else does something even funnier and MORE worthy of getting nailed by the BOTM committee for November.
Congratulations, Cora and Brendan! You are this Month's Co-Bitches!!!
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
