September 2003 BOTM

Ah, September.  The leaves are turning, we’ve survived the hurricane and it’s another NEW school year.  That can only mean one thing:

A NEW BITCH OF THE MONTH!!

We shall pause for you to finish cheering.  Go on.  Cheer.

All right, that’s enough.  Get back to reading this.  We’re not writing this for our health, you know.  This month’s Bitch has been seen at fencing only once, but made such an impression that the BOTM committee felt obligated to break with tradition and award the coveted…uh…award to the new bitch.

First, some background on the New Bitch:  This bitch came to fencing practically hanging off of one of Goucher Fencings’ overseas troublemakers.  It was nearly impossible to miss the Bitch, simply due to the fact that the Bitch stood out so blatantly and refused to be parted from our returning alum-type-person.

On the other hand, we of the committee are of the opinion that it was a VERY GOOD THING that the Bitch would not be parted from the alum.  Not that anyone asked the bitch to separate from the alum, but some things just need to be said anyway.

Let us describe certain characteristics of the Bitch, that you, dear readers, shall be able to notice the Bitch should you happen to encounter the lucky recipient.  To be fair, there are elements of this entity that are, separated, quite useful in their own right.  However, when combined with aspects that are unique (we hope) to this Bitch they are stripped of any real usefulness that we of the Bitch committee can conceive of.

We would post a picture of the Bitch this month, however the Bitch has not returned and the committee was caught unawares by the sudden and unexpected appearance of the Bitch.  We also doubt that the Bitch will ever return to Goucher Fencing, at least in any sort of fencing capacity.

Now that we have danced around the edges of identifying this Month’s Bitch, we shall cut to the heart of the matter and declare that the first Bitch of the Month of academic year 2003 – 2004 is none other than…

The Pink Cargo Skirt!

The BOTM committee is pleased to break with tradition and finally grant the club’s most (and least) coveted award to an article of clothing.  Now that this most vital aspect of fencing has been opened up to BOTM consideration, we can only imagine what other items of common wear could qualify for this award.

In the interest of discretion and decorum, however, the BOTM committee will neither imagine nor pursue this line of thought any further in this month, as we also do not wish to steal any of the PCS’s thunder.  We also shall not name the alum to whom the Pink Cargo Skirt attached itself.  Herself?  Can clothing have gender?  Do we WANT it to have gender??

Congratulations, Pink Cargo Skirt!  You are This Month’s Bitch!!

                The Bitch of the Month Award is brought to you more or less monthly by the esteemed and mostly honorable BOTM committee, staffed entirely by volunteers and one person who got shanghaied into it.  Should you wish to volunteer, the committee will require an oath of silence, a willingness to be bribed (both to be BOTM and to avoid BOTM) and display a strong sense of self and humor.  Oh, and some other secret things that we’ll tell you if you make the cut. HA!