March 2003 BOTM

March. Left, right, left right left. But even though we're technically at War, this month's Bitch has very little to do with that.

Yes, that's right, it's time once again for everyone's favorite procrastinated - and prolonged - club insult/tribute. That wonderful moment where all the anxious fencers crowd the web page bandwidth, wondering..." Is it me?"

This Month's Bitch has been with the club for a LONG time, and we recently discovered that the Bitch has a secret power kept hidden from us. We don't like that sort of secret keeping, and so we've decided to show the entire world what the Bitch can do.

As you can see in the picture below, this conclusively proves that this month's Bitch can TURN INVISIBLE!!

Either that, or the camera was jarred as the picture was taken and the Bitch just didn't show up! Personally, I think it's cooler if the Bitch goes invisible. But then we wouldn't be able to rag on HIM for never showing up and then twitching around when we can see him.

Therefore, it is our great pleasure to announce this Month's Bitch:

SEAN "Invisi-Sean" ABBOTT!!

No relation to the Abbott of Abbott And Costello - that he's ever admitted to, Sean is known by several other names. Like Prancer. And if you look at the photo below, you will see why he's called Prancer. It has nothing to do with Reindeer OR the fact that he used to be part of Choreographie Antique.

Although why someone would bother trying to teach antiques how to dance really is beyond my capacity. I think it'd be pretty funny to try leading a 18th century chest of drawers in a waltz or something...I wonder if Prancer would ever give that a try, considering how much he likes to dip Becky "Mother" Ball whenever she's around. Knowing him, it's a possibility.

We of the Bitch Committee have long suspected Sean of being able to make himself vanish for long periods of time. For example, there was the time he told everyone that he was in England - but no one actually saw him there. And then, more recently, he's had "projects" and "meetings" that have kept him "busy." However, there's never been any sort of verification. And yet, Sean still seems to know everything that goes on at fencing. The only possible explanation for this is that he can turn himself invisible.

The Bitch Committee is aware of Mr. Abbott's many years of service to the club. He has served - and survived - nearly four years as being almost everyone's favorite fencer to hate. And really want to beat. Which is a compliment in an unusual kind of way, since you must be a freaking good fencer if everyone wants to beat up on you. And of course, you can frustrate them enough so that they keep trying, but let them get close enough that they don't get discouraged.

And that, in the final analysis, is the mark of a REAL Bitch. Someone who is so skilled, so proficient at being SO ANNOYING that they stand out above the crowd of normally irritating people. What can we say? Even though we can't always see him, he's SO GOOD at being SO ANNOYING that he never really leaves...

Congratulations, Sean! YOU are this Month's BITCH!!